God's promises

!. God promised a woman...check!
2. God promised a job.....check!
3. God promised a car.....check!
4. God promised my son....check!
5. God promised a ministry......in the making!

i love how all i gotta do is believe with complete faith and pursue My Lord and He will prove Himself...

Thank you Jesus, for showing me my error and showing me the light!

Re-entering Civilization

Well, it has come to pass that I will be leaving my "Fortress of Solitude" aka Campus By the Sea. I still love it here. I love the friendships and relationships I have made here. I am so thankful for all that I have learned about myself and others. My relationship with the Lord and with others have gotten WAY better!!!
I have changed a lot in the 10 and a half months i have been here. I look forward to what God has in store for me, my fiance and my son as we embark on this new chapter of our lives together. Thank you Jesus for you ever present grace and your blessings in my life and those around me. I Love You Lord!

The Proposal

I proposed and she said yes!!!
August 16, 2010!!! i can't wait!

Psalm of Thanksgiving

I know the Lord can hear my thoughts.
I'm thankful that I know His voice.
The Lord has shown me what real love is.
When the world claimed to have the solution for my aching and broken heart.
My life was more like death;
Wrapped up in the world and running from God.
Shame led to guilt.
Guilt led to sin and acceptance of immorality.
The "Father of Lies" tricked me and played shadow games with my heart and body.
But you, Oh Lord! Have never failed me.
Your word remains true and everlasting.
And you have always been faithful.
Thank you for helping me notice my pride.
And for humbling me.
Thank you for your justice.
And your grace just the same.
Now I willingly humble myself in Your Almighty Presence.
Selah.
My Lord, MyComforter.
Your grace is ever-so-sufficient for me.
You have made a phenomenal difference in my life.
You, Oh Lord! Are responsible for taking my soul from the depths of the world and the grasp of Satan's palms.
And given me your light, your life... your forgiveness.
I will for now and forever be the "Fire of God" you intended me to be.
Selah.

Inspired by: Jonah 2:2-9
Written By: Josiah R. Dicken
April 7, 2010 / 11:41am

Last Night (God's Affirmation)

Wow,
So I was working last night in the kitchen. And I heard God's voice ask me, "How bad do you want to talk to Karolyn?" And I said to my self, "really!? I'm having this covo with God? ok!" Then I said to God, "Alot!" And He said to me, "Who means more to you?" and i said, "You of course!" and he said "then postpone talking to her and come and talk to me, alone and separated from everyone, I have something special for you that you need/ want". So, after work i went down to the ocean (a 30 second walk literally) and God asked me "whats holding you back from pursuing your passion?" and I said "my daily pride, sin and doubt, I think that everytime I sin i start back at square one with you and I don't know when or if I am ever gunna get to do ur will." I started to have tears run down my cheeks, cuz i felt His holy presence holding me and then He said "It's coming, real soon... just keep on this path and be not discouraged" "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God".

I'm so excited to see who, what, when, where and how I am gunna do God's will!!!

Learning more and more...about ME.

So, My wonderful, Godly, Beautiful and amazingly Wise girlfriend took some great advice from some of our friends. To read these books for couples. And in doing so I am learning so much about myself!!! My walk with God is so strong. And my devotion to both God and karloyn are ever so strong. I love learning information from books. The books are "For men only" and "for women only". here's what we've done... she reads the for men only and highlights and writes notes that pertain to her, so when i read that exact book, i not only learn about women...but about my woman. And i do the same with the for women only... then we exchange the books and "Do our homework". Plus we are doing "Devotions for Couples"... and that one strengthens the relationship in God... where God is the foundation and not eachother.

I Love you God... thankyou for blessing me with a Godly woman!
I love you karolyn... ::IYFY::

Love,
ME

Temptation

So, 'bout 4 hours ago I talked to a group of college students about saying "on-fire for God" and not losing their "fire" when they leave camp. It was powerful and they responded well to it. =0)
And I was feeling real good about how it went, obviously Satan thought it went well too. So he tempted me...
Flash back:
About a month ago I was witnessing to a friend and telling her that she didn't need to dress so provocatively and model naked for photographers. She was mad because i deleted her from my friends list of facebook and because these were my reasons for doing it.
Present:
About 10 minutes ago I received 3 e-mails from this girl (and they were sent to approx. 50 other men) all containg nude or partially nude, very risque, pornographic pictures.
I was disgusted because i knew she was trying to make me lust after her and look at her in ways I had preached against.

Thank you Jesus, for your self- control you have instilled in me!
My life would still be in shambles if it weren't for you!
I am everything I am because of you!!!

Things are looking up...

How did I not know this earlier in life? Better yet, why didn't I just listen to what people were telling me? Blessings are all around me! My Lord and Savior is so graceful, My girlfriend is an angel sent from above, My job; although tiresome at times is a blessing to my soul. My music is such an impact on my life, and God has sent me people with same music tastes and new music tastes that share their's with me and I get uplifted by all this christian music!!! God has done amzing things in my life, everryone can look at my pictures and see what was a fake smile and one that is genuine... God is so genuine and is ever so graceful and I owe all to Him!!! I know things will get hard and stressful at times, depression might even kick in at times, But God is my light and my shield and my friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with All your heart and lean not on your own understandings, in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your paths.

This is a nice celtic cross.
I have it in representation of the ones that I have been close to that have passed away. RIP Jhenn D'veer Hunt and Grampa Deimel (WW2 Veteran).

My dedication...

I dedicated this one to my son... It means to me, that you'd have to do all this to get to my son. The kanji on top means LOYALTY.

Samurai

Well, this one is a kanji (japanese symbol) that says "Samurai"; samurai means Servant to the king... I am a servant to my King. Jesus Christ!!

My latest tattoo....

Well I got this one on my outter, right forearm...
It says "West Coast Born, 3rd Coast Bred"
3rd Coast = TEXAS... thus the flag!!!

Oak Cliff, Dallas is Home!!!

No Fear

This tattoo I got when I was on R&R from Iraq and I put it on my upper back.
Kinda proud American and Ain't scared of the devil!

Phoenix

The Phoenix represents a bird on fire. The bird part is a dove or the Holy Spirit. And the flames represent an action of God. My name in Hebrew means "Fire of God". So now you can see how this tattoo means alot to me. And how This phoenix (me) is Rising from the Ashes.

The kanji: Bottom = Phoenix
Middle = Immortal
Top = Heavenly

Wings like eagles

This is the scripture verse that helped me throught the Army.
Isaiah 40:31
They that trust in the Lord shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not grow faint.

The Army

This was my first tattoo. I helped the artist design it. It says ARMY. I got it November 17, 2001.

The wages of sin...

This one is an ambigram (sp?). It says Death, and when you turn it upside down, it says life.

The wages of Sin is DEATH but the Gift of God is Eternal Life.

simply put.

Dead and Gone

This is a tattoo of mine on my right, inner forearm.
It is a picture of a yin and yang and the two most popular beings in asian history. The Tiger and the Dragon. Except in this pic the dragon is just a skeleton. The chinese believe that the tiger is the most pure being alive and that the dragon represents pure evil. It shows how my life at one point was all evil and it was destroying me and God was trying to get ahold of me. Finally when I confronted my past and confronted my mistakes and got down on my knees and asked for forgiveness from my God, He forgave me.
This is a depiction of how the evilness of me is Dead and Gone".

Only good things to come...

Randomness

For any of you readers these next parts are rhetorical questions:
1. If your blessed with a job and a living condition, why are you complaining all the time with other peoples problems?
2. Why do you have to shove your problems on everyone else? Why can't you take your problems to God?
3. Be thankful for what you DO have, stop complaining about what you lack!
4. If you got someone for advice and all you seem to do is reject their advice with excuse after excuse... don't expect any help.
5. Instead of talking constantly, or waiting for the other person to finish... truly listen to someone else's thoughts... we all just might learn something.

God, I pray that the ponderables and exclamations make it to the one's it needs to!

If I said something and you know that is you... seek God!

The Place

So, I got the job as a cook at this camp that I applied for. I lived there and I worked there. It was a close knit community. And at the time, It was a little too close for comfort. When I started working there, I was separated from my wife, legally. And was in the final stages of a divorce. So, the devil used that as an excuse to start dating again. I wanted to and I did. So, I started dating this wonderful girl. And what started out to be innocent and romantic, turned out to be lustful and selfish... on both parts. We were physically involved even though we had vowed to abstain. But we didn't set our boundaries too high. Along with the lust, we let down our walls to many other worldly pleasures that youth nowadays find intriguing. We were both turning into what we were running from. Sooner or later I was let go without an answer as to why. But I look back and I know it was God that had a hand in that firing... 'cause soon after the firing, the girl and I broke up... And after I repented profusely to God. I was given a Gift beyond measure... I was granted a job at the place I work now. The place where I find my solitude. The place where God has met me time and time again. Where I have met very key people in my life and in my walk with God. I will never forget this place... But I am not finished here yet... Thank you God and Thank you Campus By The Sea, Avalon, California.

Jesus Strikes Back

I found this job selling magazines and children's books door-to-door. Well it was more like scamming people to buy these fake magazines and either you got money right then or later that day, either way it was stealing. I was terrible at it, I mean, I can sell stuff. But, straight out scamming? For some reason I could live my life as a hypocrite and lie to the people that mattered, but I couldn't scam some old lady for her money.
While I was with this job, we smoked weed daily, got drunk nightly and everyone was hookin' up. Gladly I wasn't there long enough to follow that suit.
Every now and then I would call my family and check-in. But there was this one time I called my mom and she said "thank God you called, I had a terrible dream last night about you; please come home!!!" That's all she had to say, because my mom has that kinda influence. So, I gathered my last paycheck and skipped outta that job. While I was on the bus back to Texas from Chicago, God met me as clear as day and said to me " "I'm going to give you a chance to turn your life around when you get home and if you do so, i will bless you, because you are my son."
So, when I got home my mom told me about a job at a Christian camp in Southern California at Palomar Mountain. I told God "if you are for real then help me get this job, I will not lie on my application or resume, nor will i lie in my interviews". I didn't doubt God and I held up my part of the bargain...

A New Hope

When my son Kalyb was born I decided to turn over a new leaf. I decided to quit smoking, not drink near as much, and stay home more often. Two of those were easy, but quitting smoking... was very hard to do, especially because at the time... I liked it, believe it or not! My son and I were practically together all the time. My marriage was failing though. I was a stay at home dad in Germany (after the military) and my wife was still in the army. I didn't have a visa so I was Mr. Mom. But I developed a great relationship with my son. Soon after I got married... we got separated. And due to military regulations at the time... I had to leave Germany. So I went back to Dallas, Texas and got welcomed at the airport with family members who thought I was addicted to drugs and had me sent to a Christian-based half-way-house. After a month of being around crack addicts I left. I got on the bus and headed to Lubbock, Texas. And stayed with a girl from my past... which soon developed into a bad relationship (due to lifestyles and differences).
While I was in Lubbock, I learned a lot about who I really was and who I definitely wasn't. I learned that I was a leader... and that I was somewhat of a follower. I learned that I needed to be needed... yet no one there really needed me. I wanted to be wanted and few wanted me, but only for lustful desires.
I was yet again I was in a bad place doing drugs and drinking alcohol and being promiscuous. And in the midst of it all I felt God tugging at my heart... so what did I do? I drank, smoked and slept "His voice" away.
After being jobless for a couple months and looking for jobs and having no luck. I stumbled upon a newspaper add that would land me a terrible job... yet help my heart make a realization that was bound to happen sooner or later.

Freedom and Captivity

In October of 2003, I headed to Germany to go active duty for the Army. I was stationed in Wiesbaden, Germany for a month before I got sent to Iraq for "The War on Terror". I was 20 yrs. old when i got to Germany and drinking was legal there. So were many other things. But, drinking really appealed to me for the simple reason that it was forbidden in my own country (at my age). So, I drank to my heart's content and I cared for no one except for myself. Now, I made "friends" so to speak... but just because they had a glimmer of loyalty didn't make them friends. Aquaintances more like it... Now the drinking continued and so did other lusts of the flesh. But deep down I felt the spirit of the Lord tugging at my soul... so I just drank more 'till it shut up. Now I don't have an addictive personality per-say. So, I don't want to you to assume that I was an alcoholic, but I was a binge drinker... or more like a "binge lifer" (I did everything in excess and alot at once).
My life was in a spiral of depression, alcohol and sex for that one month before I went to Iraq...
In Iraq I learned how to shield my heart as well as my body. I learned that I could use similar tactics to get one girl as well as the next. I abused that knowledge and found myself using people only to get what I needed.
When I got back to Germany, Christmas Eve 2004, I was like a lion held in captivity... and just got let free in to the wild. I was reckless and unafraid. No one could touch me. I felt invincible. But I wasn't... I soon got my girlfriend (at the time) pregnant, and before I knew it she was in labor with my son Kalyb Isaiah. On August 4, 2006 my son was born. And he changed the way I looked at life from then on.

From being born to being bred.

When I was about 11, my family moved to Dallas, Texas. In my mind I thought it was gunna be like the Andy Griffith show. Where everyone was walking around barefoot and had fishing poles and had grass hanging out of their mouth... Little did I know that Oak Cliff, Dallas in 1994 was one of the most gang populated cities in the country. I literally grew up in my teenage years in the ghetto. Now, I didn't live in the ghetto because my parents were poor, it was simply because that's where Christ for the Nations Institute (or CFNI) was. While my parents worked at the Institute, I got a name for myself that I didn't appreciate: "Randy and Lynn's son" or "Nichole's Brother". I loathed being called those names, so I acted out and got a name for myself. I got known as a hot-tempered kid who had a really short fuse. At that point in time, I was never really noticed by girls and was teased a lot and had a fair share of bullies. But nowadays I look back and thank my bullies for making me stronger... the teasing over the years had built my wit.
When I left Dallas, I was a junior in High school, and my parents had just gotten a divorce. I went with my Dad to live in Arlington, Texas. When my dad got remarried I was a rebellious kid, I was really good (or bad) with words... I could tear someone apart with my words. I know I burned a lot of bridges with my words.
When I moved out of my Dad's house, I was 17. I moved to Amarillo to stay with my sister while I finished high school (my whole senior year). When I was in my senior year I didn't ever get drunk or party, that wasn't my motivation. My motivation... was located in the church, where I could hide who I was. I could be a hypocrite and only God and I knew it. I was good at it too! I would go to church just to see how many numbers I could get. I was a Player. Plain and simple.
When I was half way into my Senior year I joined the military... the Army to be exact. That helped me in my quest to "becoming a man" (according to the world). I was flooded with an overwhelming surge of pride. I was so self-centered that I let no one's words affect me.
While in the Army Reserve from ages 17-20, I was in numerous relationships with girls that were far from what I really needed in a woman. My experience multiplied and so did my yearning for a true relationship therefore all the while my soul was being shared with all these women and I had nothing being shared with me, spiritually. So, I turned to marijuana, alcohol and perscriptions (that weren't even mine). I never got addicted to any drug except for cigarettes. Although tobacco is legal it has been the hardest thing to give up when it comes to things you put in your body.
After 3 year in the Reserve, I left for Germany, to see the world and to go to war (in Iraq). Thats what my main purpose was, besides getting to see new lands.
There, my world changed forever and I didn't even see it coming...

Let's start from the beginning....

June 17, 1983, Oceanside, California. In a small house on the avg. side of town a
10lb. 'little' baby was born. The parents: Randy and Lynn decided to name him Josiah Randall.
Throughout life they raised Josiah and his older sister, Nichole, in the church. The two parents were well known pastors in the community. Josiah and his sister were born into the life of a "pastor's kid". While Nichole excelled in school, Josiah seemed to have a little trouble... no more than an average boy. But we all soon found out that Josiah had an apt for reading comprehension and for spelling.
When I was a kid, growing up in the church. I was gowing through all the motions, I would get home from school, do homework, go to AWANA (like cub scouts...but bible based). Go to church on Sunday, Wednesday and sometimes a home group at someone's house on like friday. I memorized soooo much scripture it was insane.
As I got a lil bit older I started going to youth groups. I started to interact with teens that were going through life and I couldn't relate to them simply because I had been sheltered from the world. I had Youth Pastor upon Youth Pastor who would try to preach to the kid that was being abused or to the kid that was in a gang or to the kid that was sexually active... yet the pastor had bever even been in any of these types of situations... the youth pastor was a grown version of me.
That's when I believe God first called me into the ministry...

My first real Blog

Hi Reader,
I would like to start off by praying for this blog...
Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that this Blog may affect my life and the lives of those who read it or may even just stumble upon it, I pray that it blesses people and that I may have a small affect on the world through this. Thank you for your everlasting friendship and guidance in my life and for the wisdom that I seek on a daily basis.

In your awesome name, Amen

Now, to tell you a little bit about me I'm currently 26 years young, Divorced/ Single father of one adorable 3 1/2 year old boy named Kalyb (pronounced Caleb). My parents are in the ministry... yes that means I am a pastor's kid. And I haven't always lived this life of happiness and blessing.

I believe God wanted me to write this blog in order to show folks like you that I was in a similar situation... I hit rock bottom. I found myself squandering all that I was given, and living a life that just lead to destruction. My soul was dead. But God found me and gave me back my name and called me His own...

This Is My Story...