When my son Kalyb was born I decided to turn over a new leaf. I decided to quit smoking, not drink near as much, and stay home more often. Two of those were easy, but quitting smoking... was very hard to do, especially because at the time... I liked it, believe it or not! My son and I were practically together all the time. My marriage was failing though. I was a stay at home dad in Germany (after the military) and my wife was still in the army. I didn't have a visa so I was Mr. Mom. But I developed a great relationship with my son. Soon after I got married... we got separated. And due to military regulations at the time... I had to leave Germany. So I went back to Dallas, Texas and got welcomed at the airport with family members who thought I was addicted to drugs and had me sent to a Christian-based half-way-house. After a month of being around crack addicts I left. I got on the bus and headed to Lubbock, Texas. And stayed with a girl from my past... which soon developed into a bad relationship (due to lifestyles and differences).
While I was in Lubbock, I learned a lot about who I really was and who I definitely wasn't. I learned that I was a leader... and that I was somewhat of a follower. I learned that I needed to be needed... yet no one there really needed me. I wanted to be wanted and few wanted me, but only for lustful desires.
I was yet again I was in a bad place doing drugs and drinking alcohol and being promiscuous. And in the midst of it all I felt God tugging at my heart... so what did I do? I drank, smoked and slept "His voice" away.
After being jobless for a couple months and looking for jobs and having no luck. I stumbled upon a newspaper add that would land me a terrible job... yet help my heart make a realization that was bound to happen sooner or later.
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